A MILLION, BAJILLION TEARS 😭😭😭
If anyone dare doubt the integrity and warmth BOWW, I will fight you.
I miss each and every one of you, achingly so. These last two and a bittish years, you’ve been my family, my support system, my “stone-cold pack of weirdos”, and to be missing in action really, really hurts. You know that feeling of missing one weekend to ride? It’s like that, but times a thousand. The new gig is so rewarding and still so surreal, but for the moment, it takes me away from being with a crew I love being around and being a part of so much. And that SUCKS. I confided in Matt that it has less to do with the cycling. It’s the comraderie, the warmth, the safe space, the trust, being around people who operate on the same neuroses— and it’s cheaper than therapy?— unless the latest line of Assos kit and a new set of Mavics are involved— and I feel that hole now, big time. I’m trying my damnedest to see how I can fit it in again, to come back into the fold, but it’s tough...
*yanks a Kleenex*
And even the people who are new and I haven’t met yet, I love and miss you too. And it makes me sad that I don’t get to ride with you and get to know who you are. But I know you are in the best of hands, that you’ll never be looked at as just some face on two wheels, that if you engage in the trust fall, you will be caught. Even if a group of Kasias, and Tiffanys, and Paulines, and Lizzies, and Sannes opened up, I’d still tell you to ride with BOWW.
*yanks another Kleenex*
I’m not there in the paceline, but I’m still a part of you. I’m proud to know you. I get to say that I know the person who raced 200 miles of gravel, the person who conquered the Triple Crown, the person who lived in a van for a month to experience Arizonian open roads, the one white-knuckling through the OCUPs, the solo bike campers, the one who gets up at an ungodly hour and gets it in before work or before the baby wakes up, the one who might’ve been in their wrong mind to have just switched completely over to MTB only and I guess that’s okay, and on and on and on. It’s strength and growth I’m in awe of, all the way through, and I hope this third season is proving to be just as strong, if not stronger, as the last two have been.
Thank-you, I feel seen and loved and have needed both, especially now.
Also, thanks to my bb for playing a small part in this simple yet deeply beautiful gesture.
*out of Kleenex*
...YOU GUYYYYYYYYYYYYS 😭😭😭