Impressive Fire: Welcome back, Archer...

Last night’s Archer's Season 5 premiere felt like one big explosive-y, sploogey, super-satisfying ejaculation after not beating it for like, a year.

So some background on my #1 TV-love right now, listed in point form for easy absorption:

  • I only started watching the show after Season 3 ended. People kept recommending it to me (“Specifically you, K Sung, would love it.”) and I kept putting it off like homework (again: Season 3). I should trust my peers more often, they’re only trying to help. Plus I was juggling watching a ton of shows at the time because life is so hard!
  • Love became addiction too quickly. Waiting for Season 4 was murder, so during the gap, I re-watched Seasons 1-3 an alarming 3 or 4 or 8 times more. It was the only way I could brush the ants off.
  • Inarguably, it is fun to quote the shit out of Archer. So I do, like, every day. I tend to channel Pam and Archer lots.
  • My favourite characters are Pam and Archer lots. Krieger on some days. All the Barries on my heavy period days.

Sooooo now that that’s all been said, to say the least, I’m a big fan of the show and have loved everything Adam Reed’s brain has churned out thus far. My only gripe has been about last season where it felt like the show had lost some air and started sagging. I remember a lot of sitting happening, even in Turkmenistan. And even with Jon Hamm ending the season with an awesome vocal cameo (and I do love me some Hammphrasingboom), I came out of it scrunching my face to look like Malory’s regular face and worrying about the fate of Archer

Turning the show on its head seemed almost necessary and so far, it’s worked out way better than we all imagined.

My personal thoughts, after-thoughts, and feelings on last night’s premiere:

  • I suppose I could’ve done with a refresher, especially with Season 4’s season finale because I completely, totally forgot that Lana is pregs and Ray is fake or for real paralyzed again. So I had to pretend like Lana’s skinny bitch bump and Ray pop-a-wheelie-chairing again were normal things *embarrassed/not a big fan apparently*
  • Muppet references, yes! Especially about the two best Muppets, Beaker and Bunsen! Also: did not know Bunsen’s full name was Dr. Bunsen Honeydew so way to enlighten me a little more, Mr. Archer. Also: how vast and outstretched is Archer’s knowledge of everything? Sterling Archer? The Muppet Show? Really? A true renaissance man.
  • Cool curveball, bro Reed. This show is going full Heisenberg now, innit? I like it! Not that we should be THAT surprised, I mean, look at this colourful cast of characters; everything from cultivating radioactive pigs to the fucking butler being a smack hound. Even Lana relapsed and went back to Cyril. And apparently, she has a warped vaj— sooooo? The show really only had to move an inch to the left to “go vice” like it did.
  • R.I.P., Brett. If there was one person who could catch a ballistic bullet like a champ, it was you *pours one out*
  • I said it during last season on my Facebook (with so many likes in agreement) that Krieger suddenly became really awesome in his own twisted way and Lucky Yates did a good job breathing more life into the weirdo, Nazi scientist. And he FINALLY got recognized for this with his name appearing in opening credits last night. Big ups to you, Lucky Yates, you deserve it! By the by, did anyone else’s brain trip up on the few extra bars added in the show’s theme song just so that they could accommodate his cred? Just wondering.
  • And finally: if the ending of the episode is actually a glimpse of what’s to come in this season and it wasn’t just a teasing, best-of reel of Archer’s espionage wet dreams, I welcome it all with big open arms. This looks like the beginning of a most-debased, most-debauched, high-octane, ridiculously hilarious season (—of pushing a shit-ton of blow apparently).

Welcome to Season 5, bitches! *SPLOOSH*