I don’t see this topic being discussed anywhere so Imma start it up.
A friend of mine has her own independent business in an industry dominated by men. She was bidding on a big-ass job and the procuring manager made THE ugly sexist comment: “—you're the fabricator!? --but you’re a woman!”
Over here in the western world, you don’t challenge a woman’s ability to do anything, it’s punishable by castration of genitals or, at the very least, you get shamed and trolled so hard by a progressive angry mob that you wouldn't be able to show your face anywhere anymore. It's territory too old-timey that even old-timey Republicans don't really tread there these days. It's the most obvious and archaic of sexist remarks where it's not possible that you can't notice it’s sexist. And insulting. And damaging. But ultimately, blatantly, quintessentially sexist.
So why would one say it?
Because they actually believe that women were cut from the rib.
And when would one say it?
When they know they can get away with it.
He said a shitty thing, he knows it's shitty to say such a thing, he knows he said a shitty thing, he said it because he knew he could get away with saying a shitty thing…
…because he knows my friend's going to do the work. She is an independent.
She is being held hostage.
Him/Slime: "I can insult her gender without reprisal or backlash because she needs the work and I know she's going to do the work."
Her: "I'd like to punch him out, but he also holds my paycheque and I need the work, I cannot bite the hand that feeds."
I wish I had advice for independent business women who are wedged between a rock and an asshole dangling a carrot. Many of them aren’t in a position to reject work when met with their own workplace sexism, for the few obvious reasons, whether it be being financially dependent, somebody being financially dependent on them, they’re just starting out, the hungry desire to establish themselves, build their name and their career, etc. I just wish these specific working women had the freedom and resources to stick up for themselves without compromising their business and revenue.
I can’t just tell my friend to smash this guy’s face and take her business and pride elsewhere, it’s work. She has no HR department to hear her whistleblowing, there’s no institution to protect her and ensure her safety should things get hostile...
What can she do? I’m actually asking, this shit ain’t rhetorical. What sort of advice can be offered here?
I’d like to know.
Comment below if you have an answer.